Tuesday, March 31, 2009

All About YOU!

You can save thousands of dollars a year on your taxes! You can make thousands of dollars a month in your spare time! You can ensure your future – it's not too late to start!

It's never been cheaper to lose weight! You can lose twenty pounds by Easter! You can firm that butt! You can firm those thighs! Those washboard abs you've always wanted could now be yours!

You can make thousands of dollars just by placing classified ads in newspapers! You can make thousands of dollars in importing without risking one penny of your own
money! You can make thousands of dollars buying real estate with the vendor's money!

Now you can have a brilliant white smile! Your hair can have body and sheen! Your skin can be clear and soft!

You can ensure a comfortable retirement by investing in mutual funds! You can share in the huge returns on tech stocks by investing in mutual funds! You can ensure peace of mind by investing in ethical mutual funds!

Your marriage can be saved! Your sex life can be saved! You can start a new career in the fast-paced high tech world of computers in only six months!

You can remove stains! You can remove built-up dirt! You can remove harmful bacteria!

You can promote understanding and fight alienation by using inclusive language! You can help the homeless by buying a toque! You can protect the environment by using your recycling box!

You can sleep better and save money in a beautiful automatic bed! You can ensure your family's future by buying life insurance for pennies a day – you cannot be refused! You can get money for your house without giving up ownership!

You can own valuable collector plates! You can own valuable collector spoons! You can own valuable collector thimbles!

You can do whatever you want! You can achieve any goal you really want to achieve! If you never quit you can never be beaten!

The key to success is the power inside you! The key to success is the drive inside you! The key to success is the desire inside you!

You can become rich and famous by hitting a ball with a stick! You can become rich and famous by grinning into a television camera with your hair carefully combed! You can become rich and famous by telling people they can become rich and famous!

Yes, you can!

All About YOU! © John FitzGerald, 2000

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